The Beef is in the Fridge!

That's all I really had to say.

Top 4 Bad Ass Video Game Characters

4. Gordon Freeman (Half-Life Series)

Gordon Freeman is just your average MIT graduate with a degree in theoretical physics with a boring job at a top-secret defense facility. Until one day, he opens a portal to a different dimension and lets hundreds of thousands of aliens free on this world. While the other scientists cower and hide, Gordon Freeman says, "Fuck, now I've gotta kill all these damn aliens." And then he does. Bad Ass Rating: 7

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3. Guybrush Threepwood (Monkey Island Series)

Pirates are an undesirable bunch on good days, and murderous thieving wretches on their worse days. Guybrush Threepwood is a typical boy living in the Caribbean who wants to become a pirate. He gathers up some random criminals and becomes a pirate. Then he fights the most legendary pirate in the area. When said legendary pirate comes back as a zombie, Guybrush defeats him again. And when the pirate comes back as a Zombie Ghost too. When he's done fighting pirates, zombies and zombie ghosts, Guybrush has the hottest chick in the Caribbean to go home to. Just Awesome. Bad Ass Rating: 8

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2. Commander Keen

Commander Keen is an 8 year old kid who builds a SPACESHIP in his BACKYARD. After flying to Mars in his spaceship, he proceeds to blast every alien he can find to repair his spaceship. Then he blasts every alien on his way back to earth. When said aliens have taken Earth hostage, he slaughters all of them as well. Clearly, Commander Keen is not someone to screw around with. Also notable for having an incredible IQ and being the grandson of BJ Blazkowicz of Wolfenstein fame. Bad Ass Rating: 9

1. The Traveler (Diablo 1 and 2)

Here's a guy who just can't get enough demon killing. Regular adventuring just isn't enough for him, so he goes to the town where the demonic shit has been happening. He's the dark ages equivalent of the extreme sports guy. He spends days going deeper and deeper underground, killing monster after demon after monster. Then, he gets to the devil and kills him, leaving him trapped in a rock. After all of this, the Traveler thinks, "Well, can't just leave the devil laying about like this..." and proceeds to shove the soul stone INTO HIS FOREHEAD. Just wow. The soul stone ends up driving the traveler mad and turns him into Diablo, but it took a long time. A lot longer than a normal person I'm sure. Bad Ass Rating: 11

Meh of the Week: The Andromeda Strain

Image courtesy of topherlyte.wordpress.com

A remake of the 70s screen adaptation of the classic sci-fi novel The Andromeda Strain appeared on A&E. I've read the book a couple of times, and I loved the movie. I was a little excited to see how they'd modernize the story. Low expectations and good source material prepared me for a decent viewing.

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WRONG. The genius who wrote the teleplay decided to modernize the script so the current audience could relate to the problems in the film. Who is not going to relate to a virus that kills every fucking thing that touches it? We don't need conspiracy theory, racial tension or romantic subplots. The book and the original film do a fantastic job of a team of people working together to find a solution and struggling to make the right decisions. The new miniseries just doesn't work for me.

For those unfamiliar with the story, this miniseries will do a fine job of providing high B-movie quality entertainment. Otherwise, it's just okay. Rated: Meh.

Yes. YES. YES!

Finally. Scribefire doesn't suck anymore. I can now post without actually leaving the site I want to blog about. Full of win.