One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I am a huge FPS fan, ever since the original Unreal. Call of Duty
has become a new favorite of mine, particularly number 4 (number 3
according to Infinity Ward), which probably was anything I’d ever
wanted from a shooter, both single and multiplayer. But then came this news.

Treyarch is responsible for a whole lot of mediocre games, most
especially Call of Duty 3 (piece of shit according to Infinity Ward).
After the greatness of Call of Duty 2, Treyarch overhauled the game,
and worked really hard to make… the exact same game.

After the massive success of Call of Duty 4, Activision, in their
infinite wisdom, turned to veteran Call of Duty rehashers Treyarch to
get their take on what Call of Duty 5 should be. Here’s how I imagined
the conversation going:

Activision: We need a fifth money-maker Call of Duty game. You guys aren’t completely retarded did a great job on Call of Duty 3. What’s your vision for the next cash-cow game?

Treyarch: Alright picture this, okay? So COD4 was revolutionary,
right? Modern Warfare and all that? Fuck that. We’re going OLD SCHOOL.
Back to the roots. But we’re gonna switch it up! Watch Out! BAM!

(A picture of the pacific ocean and a movie theater gets put on a easel)

Treyarch: PACIFIC THEATER! WORLD WAR II! There is no way this will fail or suck in any way.

Activision: We’re sold. (faint ca-chinging sounds can be heard as their eyes roll like slot machines and display dollar signs)

(End Scene)

Here are some problems with this, Treyarch.

1. World War 2 again? Hey Treyarch, three years ago called, and it
wants its overdone and uninteresting genre back. Seriously, aren’t we
done with World War 2 games yet? Plus, why go back to world war two
after Modern Warfare was so successful?

2. The pacific theater? Oh that’s right, I remember all of the
successful games based on the pacific theater. Games like Medal of
Honor: Rising Sun or whatever that bullshit was called. More like Medal
of Honor: Please Help Us the publisher won’t let us stop making these
damn games. Everyone knows that everything interesting or fun in WWII
happened in Europe. The pacific theater is just depressing.

3. Why Treyarch for call of duty 5? Why not let Infinity Ward work
their magic on the fifth one and let the series retain some of its
integrity? Give Treyarch some other shit game to make.

4. I don’t really have anything else, but Treyarch can suck my balls. Activision too, for that matter.